Part One of My Confessions

After reading the title of this blog, you may have thought one of two things:

1) That title must be referencing to a past hit single by a popular R&B singer.

or

2) Being that I am a Catholic Christian, it must have something to do with the sacrament of confession that practicing Roman Catholics occasionally go through.


Both of them are true. I could not come up with a clever title of my own, so I had to rob Usher of a lyric from his song. As far as number 2 goes, this blog is somewhat of a confession. No, you don't need to call a member of the clergy for this. I've been through that more than enough times, and even what I am about to say has been brought up to a priest before.

This particular blog is a confession, and at the same time, an apology, to all my Christian friends.

When I started out on my journey with Jesus, I say it began with Alexandra. A year and a half into our relationship, she and my friend, Miguel, convinced me to go with her to a Youth Group at what was called West Kendall Baptist Church. It was an amazing experience, but I did not truly feel moved to give my life over to Jesus until about my third visit to that youth group.

I joined Tamiami Baptist Church and was a member of that church for about a year. I was really involved with evangelical Christianity. I was looking at the Bible a whole different way now. And as each week passed, my love for God grew and grew. However, I did not like the kind of person I was becoming. I was constantly getting into arguments with the people I love the most, my family, because they were Catholics (not practicing). After a while, as I listened to my pastor's sermons, I found myself disagreeing with him more and more as each week came and gone.
So, I remember I decided to go to a Catholic mass one week.

It was hard at first. I remember freaking out with all the things people memorized at the church. I left mass early that day. However, I found myself heading back there the following Saturday. It became a bit of a new routine for me. I would go to St. Kevin's Catholic Church on Saturday, and head to Tamiami Baptist on Sunday. The more often I went to mass, the longer I stayed, until one week where I stayed until the end.

I noticed that the taboos I had been learning were not necessarily true. I had grown up in a household of non-practicing Catholics, aka "cafeteria Catholics" because they pick and choose what they believe to be true about Catholic doctrine. Another term came from Pastor Rob Myers' mouth in Easter: "Christian CEO's" or Christian Christmas and Easter Only. Not that I think of my family in a negative light. There are many Catholics - and Christians in general - who are in the same boat. I love them. I obviously just wish that they had that same fire and passion for the Lord that I do.

Back to my story...I did research. I read the Bible extensively. I purchased books from Catholic apologists and read materials of Protestants' arguments against Catholics being considered Christian. If I did that much research for my classes, I guarantee that I would have a 4.0 GPA right now. (Note to self: when completing assignments for school, pretend it is as important as your relationship with God...wait...is that heresy?)

Anyways, I sat down with the pastor of Tamiami Baptist to tell him that I would no longer be attending that church, and we had a civil discussion about faith in general. There are no hard feelings, which I am thankful for.

What drew me to Catholicism? Through Catholicism, I was able to strengthen my relationship with Jesus Christ, more than I had before. The constant spiritual feeding at my church fills my heart with the Holy Spirit everytime I am there. I really felt like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Dorothy felt that Kansas was a bland place and longed to go "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." She landed in Oz and met a bunch of colorful characters, but in the end, she realized that there was no place like home. I have found that home at St. Kevin's Catholic Church. While I am and always a Christian first, my yellow brick road has become the Catholic Church.

So, why am I apologizing? I am apologizing because when I landed back in my own rendition of Oz, I still was not a very loving - or Christian - person. I argued with a lot of my friends extensively, including the love of my life. Some of those arguments have left me bruised inside, and I have found it very hard to open up about my faith to my new Christian friends that I have met through Alexandra (some of you who read my blogs).

I sometimes feel awkward being at Miami Baptist Church, and it has nothing to do with the people there. My past experiences just flash into my mind and I become a very secluded, and defensive person. I really am trying to open up and being able to extend that arm of fellowship with Christians from a different denomination again, because I would think that God would want all of his followers to be united and spread the Gospel as one people. I am praying hard for God to lift that burden off my shoulders.

I am apologizing because I'm not sure if I have, or if in the future I may suddenly become defensive. And I assure you that it is not my intention. I'm sorry if I have ever given off that kind of impression.

Before I conclude, I wanted to thank two very important people. I wanted to thank Father Bob Vallee of St. Kevin's. This philosopher of a priest eased my transition from evangelical Christianity to Catholocism, being that his homilies are quite evangelical themselves. I also wanted to thank Pastor Dave who is on my "Blogs I read" list. His Zeal sermons helped me go to church with my girlfriend, if at least once a month. Thank you for your amazing interpretations of scripture.

Thank you all for reading this - one of my longest original posts - and I look forward to serving the Lord for the rest of my life.