This is an Irish comedian named Dara O'Briain. This particular set really hit close to home. I found it hilarious. Hope you enjoy:
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Office Fun Part Deux
This particular event happened about a month ago. It's not only to gripe about a student, but about how people work (or don't work) at FIU:
A man walked into the office and walked straight through to the back (where the Writing Center is located). I figured he knew where he was going. He comes back to the front and yells, in a very heavy Hispanic accent:
Man with Accent (MwA): LEGAL STUDIES?!?!?!
Me: Excuse Me?
MwA: LEGAL STUDIES INSTITUTE?!?!
Me: Are you looking for Legal Studies?
MwA: Ya.
Me: Well this is the Testing Center and Learning Center.
MwA: No, they're here.
Me: Actually, we've been here since December 2007. They must have been here before, but had to change location.
MwA: Well, I remember that they were here.
Me: Well, I think they moved down the hall (point with my finger) and then turn right. I don't remember which room number exactly, though. Let me check (I check the phonebook online and I confirm the room number). Yeah they are in GL 153.
MwA: Okay. Thank you.
Me: Have a nice day.
About 6 minutes later, he comes in the office again.
MwA: They have to be in here.
Me: They're not in GL 153?
MwA: No. They're here.
Me: The person in 153 told you that?
MwA: No. Nobody is there. They're here.
Me: Why don't I call them for you, because they may not have updated their location on the phonebook.
MwA: They have to be here.
Me: Just hold on...
I call the Legal Studies number.
Legal Studies Receptionist (LSR): Legal Studies, how can I help you?
Me: Hi. I have a student at GL 120 looking for your office. Where are you located?
LSR: We're at MARC 130.
Me: Oh, okay. It's just that online it said you were located in GL 153.
LSR: Yes, I know.
(Awkward silence...I feel like saying 'are you going to do anything about it?')
Me: Okay. Well, thank you.
to MwA
Well, apparently they are located in MARC 130.
I show him a campus map and he goes on his merry way. Not only do I have to deal with troublesome students, but the employees at this bureaucracy they call FIU are not much help either...
A man walked into the office and walked straight through to the back (where the Writing Center is located). I figured he knew where he was going. He comes back to the front and yells, in a very heavy Hispanic accent:
Man with Accent (MwA): LEGAL STUDIES?!?!?!
Me: Excuse Me?
MwA: LEGAL STUDIES INSTITUTE?!?!
Me: Are you looking for Legal Studies?
MwA: Ya.
Me: Well this is the Testing Center and Learning Center.
MwA: No, they're here.
Me: Actually, we've been here since December 2007. They must have been here before, but had to change location.
MwA: Well, I remember that they were here.
Me: Well, I think they moved down the hall (point with my finger) and then turn right. I don't remember which room number exactly, though. Let me check (I check the phonebook online and I confirm the room number). Yeah they are in GL 153.
MwA: Okay. Thank you.
Me: Have a nice day.
About 6 minutes later, he comes in the office again.
MwA: They have to be in here.
Me: They're not in GL 153?
MwA: No. They're here.
Me: The person in 153 told you that?
MwA: No. Nobody is there. They're here.
Me: Why don't I call them for you, because they may not have updated their location on the phonebook.
MwA: They have to be here.
Me: Just hold on...
I call the Legal Studies number.
Legal Studies Receptionist (LSR): Legal Studies, how can I help you?
Me: Hi. I have a student at GL 120 looking for your office. Where are you located?
LSR: We're at MARC 130.
Me: Oh, okay. It's just that online it said you were located in GL 153.
LSR: Yes, I know.
(Awkward silence...I feel like saying 'are you going to do anything about it?')
Me: Okay. Well, thank you.
to MwA
Well, apparently they are located in MARC 130.
I show him a campus map and he goes on his merry way. Not only do I have to deal with troublesome students, but the employees at this bureaucracy they call FIU are not much help either...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Gabby's Office Fun I
Due to continuous inspiration from my friend, Merari, I've decided to start posting some office stories, whether they be current or happened at some point during my 3 year, 9-month employment at FIU. This particular story happened yesterday. I know a lot of people hate their bosses, but this is the first time I can hear the disgust and hate in a man's voice. I've blocked out his name for my office's security protocols. And please pardon the profanity, I thought it best to leave it in so you get the sense of the anger in his heart LOL. Enjoy!
Me: Good morning, FIU Testing. How can help you?
Man on Phone (MoP): Hello, Cesar?!
Me: Cesar is not in at the moment. Is there anything I can help you with?
MoP: Cesar?
Me: No, this is not Cesar. He won't be in until 11:30.
MoP: Listen I spoke to Cesar yesterday about possibly coming in earlier than 8am for an individual exam.
Me: Are you !@#^^&(#)(^!#?
MoP: Yeah.
Me: Well, what I can do is take your name and number down and give this message to Cesar when he comes in. I know he's proctoring an exam at that time, but I might be able to give him this message right before.
MoP: That's fine, buddy. But I really need to speak with him. There's no way my boss is gonna let me come to work late. She's new, but she's a cold ass bitch. She's the kind of woman who would say "no" just for the sake of saying "no." You get me?
Me: (trying to hold in laughter) Yeah, I understand. So, I'll have him give you a call back.
MoP: Please, buddy.
Apparently, this exchange between Cesar and MoP happened the day before.
MoP: Is there any way I can test earlier than 8am?
Cesar: Our office opens at 8, though.
MoP: Listen, I would pay you fifty bucks if you could proctor my exam at 8. The thing is that I have this new boss. She's one of those lesbian bitches who gets off on controlling a man. She loves to say "no." It pleases her...
Cesar: Well, I'll tell you what. I'll ask my director what we can do and I'll give you a call back tomorrow.
MoP: Thanks, Cesar. You have no idea what it's like to work with that woman.
Me: Good morning, FIU Testing. How can help you?
Man on Phone (MoP): Hello, Cesar?!
Me: Cesar is not in at the moment. Is there anything I can help you with?
MoP: Cesar?
Me: No, this is not Cesar. He won't be in until 11:30.
MoP: Listen I spoke to Cesar yesterday about possibly coming in earlier than 8am for an individual exam.
Me: Are you !@#^^&(#)(^!#?
MoP: Yeah.
Me: Well, what I can do is take your name and number down and give this message to Cesar when he comes in. I know he's proctoring an exam at that time, but I might be able to give him this message right before.
MoP: That's fine, buddy. But I really need to speak with him. There's no way my boss is gonna let me come to work late. She's new, but she's a cold ass bitch. She's the kind of woman who would say "no" just for the sake of saying "no." You get me?
Me: (trying to hold in laughter) Yeah, I understand. So, I'll have him give you a call back.
MoP: Please, buddy.
Apparently, this exchange between Cesar and MoP happened the day before.
MoP: Is there any way I can test earlier than 8am?
Cesar: Our office opens at 8, though.
MoP: Listen, I would pay you fifty bucks if you could proctor my exam at 8. The thing is that I have this new boss. She's one of those lesbian bitches who gets off on controlling a man. She loves to say "no." It pleases her...
Cesar: Well, I'll tell you what. I'll ask my director what we can do and I'll give you a call back tomorrow.
MoP: Thanks, Cesar. You have no idea what it's like to work with that woman.
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